my mate wrote these poems, what d'ya honestly think?
1.
sorry for the
Blood
lines on my wrist,
the sign of my
Despair.
the illiterate people on the street
point and stare.
Abuse
hurled at me as i walk sends me reeling,
screaming into the pit of my
Destruction.
clumps of my black hair lie on my bathroom floor,
while i wonder why the world wants
More
More...
while it gives so little except
Pain,
like a never ending nightmare.
casting me into the pit of my
Despair,
falling, falling, Love Impaired
falling, falling Forever Scared
2. Shocked faces surround me,
they see my emotion as humiliation.
I hate them all,
yet i always come back for more.
Why do i care,
they dont.
How long would it be,
before they realised i was gone forever.
Standing in clothes drenched in despair,
i close my eyes and forget.
But i open them,
anger and depression floods in.
People scorn me for not being happy,
yet they put me down.
And so i ask,
who would care,
if i were
gone.
There is real talent here and incredibly powerful emotion. I get a sense of frustration, an anger and resentment which seems to be directed at everyone else apart from the writer. This would suggest a lack of self-awareness. They are a little cliched, which on its own isn't necessarily a bad thing but combined with the lack of self awareness (the poems are about what other people want or expect of the writer) makes me think that the author is a teenager or early twenties.
They are a good read and the author should keep writing.
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